


mountains

by binarydust



Category: Interstellar (2014)
Genre: (the latter pretty much only because i made romilly female), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety, Canonical Character Death, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Romilly's POV, Science Fiction, Sexual Content, doyle is a huge nerd and i love him so much, guess who hates themselves for writing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 15:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4441214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binarydust/pseuds/binarydust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.” / Carl Sagan</p>
<p>In which Romilly is a woman and first names don't exist.<br/>Rated explicit because ... s p a c e  s e x *heavy breathing*<br/>Also, I obviously don't own any of these characters. They belong to Christopher Nolan, that ingenious bastard.</p>
<p> <a href="http://8tracks.com/binarydust/mountains">≋ mountains on 8tracks ≋</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Main engines, start: T minus ten – nine – eight –**  
Romilly clung to her shaking seat. This was not what she had experienced in the simulator, training for their mission to save the human race. Not that she felt very noble about that right now, with tons and tons of explosive fuel about to burn up right beneath her. She sent a quick look over to Brand, who gave her a reassuring smile.  
**– seven – six – five – four –**  
The hairs on her arms were rising, the adrenaline in her bloodflow increasing with every second. _How can everyone be so damn calm?_ , she asked herself, questioning her sanity – why had she ever agreed to take part in this godforsaken mission? _I'm so not made for this._  
**– three – two – one –**  
Her heart was beating in her chest like a hammer relentlessly pounding against the inside of her ribcage, threatening to break it to pieces. Every moment now, the rocket would launch, every moment they'd be flung into the dark, endless void of space like it was nothi–  
**Ignition.**  
Romilly gasped as she was pressed deep into her seat. Her vision blurred as the rocket shook and vibrated around the four astronauts in the cramped Ranger cockpit. Gravitation was taking its toll and pulling her down, down, down towards the earth even though that was definitely not where they were headed. _Fuck you, gravity._  
She heard TARS make one of his jokes and groaned internally, but Cooper's obvious confusion almost made her laugh despite the precarious situation she was currently experiencing. Then minute after minute, each of which seemed like an hour to Romilly, passed, and she started feeling lighter again as they ascended further towards space, away from their home.  
**Stage one – separation.**  
With a loud clanking noise, the empty fuel tanks separated from the still-rising rocket. Outside, the last clouds flew past them, faster than she could look, disappearing together with the atmosphere.  
**Stage two – separation.**  
Another clank. And there they were. _Fucking_ space.

The lack of gravity made itself noticeable immediately, with Cooper experimentally spinning the Ranger around, getting used to the controls. Romilly was relieved to have Doyle as her copilot, who might not ever have flown an actual spacecraft before, but at least she could trust him more than some stranger who came smashing through their front gates one night and immediately got proclaimed leader of the mission to save the world. No, she was definitely not trusting Cooper.  
At least taking off her helmet was an instant relief, finally being able to breathe fresh air again – no, not fresh air. The oxygen they were inhaling was, in fact, not even supposed to be here, the same way they weren't. Feeling herself starting to panic again, Romilly looked around desperately for someone to notice her distress and to just say something, anything, but nobody seemed to pay attention to her.  
While Cooper continued drifting around the cockpit pushing countless buttons and talking to Brand about honesty or some other completely irrelevant topic, Doyle detached himself from his seat and floated over to the small window from which he could see the Endurance, staring out in awe. Even in her miserable state, Romilly still found herself admiring the view. She'd never particularly liked Doyle that much – he was a damn smart-ass after all – but she guessed he was an acceptably handsome companion for a journey that would lead to their inevitable death. He at least was stable enough to float over to her seat after finally turning around and noticing her pained expression.  
“Romilly? Are you alright?”, he asked, to her surprise with genuine concern.  
Romilly nodded, which resulted only in her head spinning even more. “Yeah. ... No. No I'm not”, she muttered behind clenched teeth.  
Doyle smiled at her, more like a friend than just a colleague, and reached out to pat her shoulder with his gloved hand. “I'll have to help Cooper to dock the Ranger to the station now. But don't worry. We'll be fine, I promise.”  
Thankful for his probably meaningless, but still somehow magically calming words, Romilly looked after the geographer as he floated towards the rear of the small ship. _Maybe he isn't so bad after all_ , she thought to herself while mentally preparing for what was next. And only a few minutes later, the second she felt the locks clanking shut, relief flooded through her like a calming wave and she finally felt somewhat safe again.


	2. Chapter 2

Hours later, after they had reestablished gravity, set the Endurance on the right course and Romilly had taken a much-needed and probably way too high dose of Dramamine, everyone was preparing to settle into cryosleep for their two-year-flight to Saturn. Except Romilly wasn't feeling like settling into anything at all. She couldn't stand the thought of laying in a zip-up bag submerged in water, unable to breathe for weeks and months and years. _Like a vegetable_ , she thought. Funny thing, how she'd probably never have vegetables again either.

The sound of footsteps on the aluminum floor ripped her out of her depressing thoughts. _Isn't everyone asleep by now?_ , she wondered – but apparently everyone wasn't asleep, since Doyle's distinct profile showed up in the door to the quarters where she was sitting. _Him again_ , the voice in her head went, probably with more affection than she had expected from herself. Noticing his distant expression, she wondered what kind of thoughts were plaguing his own mind.   
Curious now, Romilly motioned for him to come closer and he sat down next to her, still silent – which, frankly, was quite unusual for him; Doyle used to be constantly talking when they were still back on Earth, and, to her undisguised annoyance, especially when it was completely and utterly unnecessary. Though at the moment, he seemed to be somewhere very far away in his oh-so-clever mind.  
Needless to say, Romilly didn't even think about initiating a conversation. Talking was a thing she'd never been good at; she preferred numbers and charts because they all made much more sense to her than the irrational, hormone-driven behavior that humans were so prone to. So they sat in silence for minutes, hours, she couldn't tell, it was so easy to lose track of time up here. Finally, Doyle spoke up.  
“Romilly, you've got to tell me. How do you stand all this?”  
She almost laughed out loud. She? “Stand all this”? She was probably the most mentally unstable physicist that NASA had ever seen, and Doyle was asking her for psychological advice? _This guy is crazy_. But instead of sharply retorting something thoughtless and rude or just ignoring him like she usually did, she actually wondered. Why was he saying this?   
“What do you mean?”, Romilly cautiously asked.  
Still sitting there like he was frozen in place on the brink of the hard metal bed, looking at his feet, he mumbled into his beard. “This ... this silence. It's unbearable. I don't know how you can take it.”  
And suddenly, realization dawned on her. _He's actually afraid_. Seeing that he might not have felt so different from her after all, she moved a bit closer and said, “Doyle ... are you scared?”  
Doyle looked at her, his face blank, eyes wide and blue and pulling her in like a hurricane. “Can't you hear it?”, he answered quietly, as if he feared that their fate would catch up with them and the station would be blown to pieces in an instant if he spoke any louder.  
She was confused, weirdly light-headed while looking at him, her mind not really able to process what he said. “Hear what?”  
He finally moved, reached out and took her hand and placed it on his own chest, right where his heart was loudly beating beneath his ribcage. “This.”  
And she listened.

They sat there for what felt like an eternity, her hand feeling the constant pounding of blood and muscle that proved that despite how unlikely it seemed, they were still so very alive.  
At some point, exhaustion took its toll on both of them. Doyle was the first to yawn and grab a pillow to lie on, and he wasn't willing to go anywhere else than this exact bunk bed. With a reluctant sigh, Romilly finally gave up trying to convince him to move and told him to just not steal her blanket; not like they needed one with the warmth that had built up between them in the meantime. Shortly after, Doyle was already half asleep.  
Lying down next to him, Romilly thought about what he had said earlier, and for the first time, she listened – listened to the inevitable silence surrounding them. Before, there had always been the constant beeping of the machines, the distinct clank of TARS or CASE moving around the station, someone talking to one of their colleagues or, occasionally, themselves. But now that the Endurance was running on minimum power and everyone except Romilly and Doyle was already in cryosleep, zipped up and sunken down in their sleeping pods like they were coffins, there was no sound except the thumping of their heartbeats and their blood continuously flowing through their veins, seemingly unstoppable.  
And in that moment, Romilly was as glad as she had never been before to have someone right next to her side, living and breathing and emanating warmth – so she shuffled a bit further in the direction of Doyle who, with a sleepy hum, laid his arm around her and pulled her closer. Yes, she had definitely never felt this lucky before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Doyle's angstiness here was inspired by Jonathan Nolan's original script from 2008, where he is terrified for literally the entire time. (he's just a scared little baby and needs to be protected at all costs)


	3. Chapter 3

Romilly woke up with a dizzy head, confused as to why there was an arm around her waist and someone breathing into her neck and – _oh, shit_.   
Remembering what had happened a few hours ago, terror threatened to overcome her. Thinking already of how the _fuck_ she would get herself out of this situation, she carefully tried wiggling out of Doyle's grip, but with no success. She knew that she would have to wake him up to get away. _This is not going to be pleasant_.  
She turned to him, whispering at first. “Doyle ...”  
After that got no reaction from him, she got louder. “Doyle. Wake up.”  
He groaned into the pillow, still half-asleep.  
“I need to go.”  
Blinking at her, he turned around, noticing that he was still tightly gripping her. “Oh, god. I'm sorry”, he said, pulling his arm away as fast as he could, his expression just as terrified as hers.   
Romilly got up immediately. “Don't worry, I … never mind”, she mumbled, smoothing out her clothes. Unable to admit to herself that she would have loved staying with him, lying there together and ignoring the terrifying vastness of space around them, she started shuffling around the room, not sure what she was even searching for.  
Doyle, who had now left the comfort of their bed as well, broke the awkward silence between them. “Are you going to sleep now?”  
She nodded, back turned towards him. “Yeah, I suppose so.” Going through the storage pockets on the wall, she looked for the simple clothes they were supposed to wear during cryosleep, both of them still desperately trying to avoid eye contact. “You too?”  
“Me too, then”, Doyle answered quietly – like he was waiting for something, which only made Romilly even more nervous. Torn apart between _then just leave right now_ and _I wish you would stay_ she turned around and threw him a pack of clothes as well.   
“Just … look away, I don't know”, she said, gesturing for the wall. _Might as well get this over with quickly_.  
He instantly took a step in direction of the door. “I should– I should leave”, he hurried to say, but then Romilly had already taken her shirt off and she felt him staring at her naked back, breath hitching in his throat.   
The hairs on her arms rose as she contemplated just turning around, just saying _fuck it all_ and just kissing him, but she couldn't. Something inside her was holding her back, something buried deep in her heart that she couldn't overcome. So she quickly changed into her clean clothes, and when she turned around, Doyle was gone.

She met him again only minutes later as he was standing in front of one of the sleeping pods, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.  
Bringing up all of her courage, she ignored the tight feeling in her stomach and walked up to him. “You okay?”  
He nodded. “Just a little nervous.”  
Romilly couldn't keep herself from smiling at him. “I guess we all are.”  
Smiling back, Doyle reached out his hand and she gladly held on to it as she climbed down into the cryobed. After giving her hand one last reassuring squeeze, he let her go. “Good night, Romilly.”  
“Good night, Doyle.”  
While warm water started rising around her, she heard him call “It's going to be fine. Don't worry”, and then the hatch was closing and her consciousness was fading, sinking deep down to a place where she would stay for almost two entire years.   
Oh, how she wished she could have believed him.

Romilly dreamed of spaceships and tiny explorers and of the infinite, lightless void, of black holes and frozen planets and then suddenly a yellow burning sun far away in the sky above her. She was back on Earth, back home in Colorado, before NASA had picked her up from the tiny college she used to teach at, with only two remaining students after educational funding had been cut for almost everyone else. Who needed physicists when the world was starving? Still, she did her job. Taught these bright young things about Einstein and Hawking like any of that still mattered when they'd all be gasping for air.  
Then one day, an unexpected opportunity offered itself to her. It came in a suit and tie with neatly brushed hair, carrying a binder full of overambitious ideas and with the face of renounced geographer and soon-to-be colleague Doyle. And of course she accepted, her burning desire to answer the unanswerable still as great as when she was a child. Romilly did not yet know how far this adventure would lead her straying, but she had nothing to lose anyway – “no attachments”, as Brand had explained to Cooper. Though in her dream, she felt something new, something she wasn't used to; she felt like she wasn't alone anymore – as if she had found someone in the most unlikely of places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out minimally different from the movie because Brand and Cooper are actually the last ones to go to sleep, but I didn't correct it for the sake of the story (with the silence being so important and, like, stuff).  
> [Fun fact: NASA's underground base is actually in Colorado Springs – which made me flip my shit when I found out because I've lived there for more than three years and I'll probably move back there in a few months, yay]  
> (Also, Doyle's first appearance in the movie about killed me because he looks hot. as. fuck. in a suit.)


	4. Chapter 4

“We're … we're here.”  
The sound of Doyle's rough voice broke the electrified silence that they'd maintained through almost their entire way through the wormhole. The anticipation, the excitement, the fear – they all felt it, they all held their breath when the Endurance started shaking and creaking and bending around them. They only dared to speak again as Gargantua was spinning right in front of their eyes.  
Their new home was here, somewhere in the darkness surrounding them – of course only if they were being optimistic. Romilly was still having none of that, but nonetheless the view left her speechless like it did the others, and when Doyle suddenly turned around in his seat and proudly smiled at her, she found herself smiling back at him within less than a second. _Romilly, what are you DOING?_ , her mind shouted, but then she forced that annoying voice out of her conscience and focused only on the dark-haired man in front of her, relief flooding through her veins like a narcotic.

Back inside the station, they debated what to do next. Miller's planet turned out to be the nearest and easiest planet to access first, but then there was the problem with relativity. After Romilly had explained to Cooper that one hour on Miller's was about seven years on Earth, he suddenly was much more reluctant to go down there. She understood that; she'd never wanted kids and she never had a family but if she did, she sure as hell wouldn't have wanted to leave them behind, let them grow old and die without her.   
But Doyle, as always, was exemplary in his devotion to the mission – because of which he also didn't miss trying to convince Cooper that the latter was more important than his children, that losing years or possibly decades of time didn't matter. Of course, Cooper reacted angrily.   
“That's easy for you to say – you don't have anyone back on Earth waiting for you, do you?”, he snapped at the geographer.   
Romilly held her breath, watching Doyle, waiting for his reaction. Suddenly, he turned and looked at her, fists clenched and slightly shaking, the expression in his eyes somewhere between anger and sadness and right-out despair. Time stood still for her when he spoke up.   
“You have no idea what's easy for me.”  
She almost flinched as he sharply retorted those words to Cooper. Who was now staring at her too. As was Brand. Fuck.   
Romilly was used to getting uncomfortable under the attention of people, especially Doyle. After seven years of working together, the intensity of his gaze when he looked at her still made her nervous sometimes. But this was different. This was so different that she wanted to jump to her feet and take him in her arms and never, ever let him go again. Of course she couldn't, not with the other two astronauts still trying to figure out what exactly had just happened. _They think we're together. Oh crap._

Then, to Romilly's relief, Brand finally broke the silence by agreeing with Cooper. Doyle seemingly recovered from his emotional outburst, Romilly dared to breathe again. Lastly, they settled on using Cooper's method – keeping the Endurance in Orbit around Gargantua while they, in as little time as possible, would take the Ranger down to Miller's to collect all the data they could get and, ideally, Miller herself.  
“CASE, you're with me. Anyone else can stay”, Cooper concluded. Romilly looked up, an idea forming in her mind.   
“If … we're talking about a couple of years – I could use that time to research gravity, observations from the wormhole. That's gold to Professor Brand.”  
Cooper nodded. “Okay. TARS, factor an orbit around Gargantua – minimal thrusting, conserve fuel ...”  
Romilly stopped listening as soon as her part in all this was clear. She dared to take a look at Doyle, who was staring at the floor looking guilty again. _God damn it, Doyle. How am I going to deal with you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The line „You have no idea what's easy for me“ actually exists in the script, but for whatever reason that I'll never understand they took it out, so in the movie it's just Cooper talking about family and so on. I revere Nolan but this is something I will never ever get because it's just so important for Doyle's entire character (it's sad anyway that Doyle and Romilly got so little attention because these two have so much potential).


	5. Chapter 5

Cooper was the first of them to get up and leave their small, improvised conference room. Seconds later, Doyle stood up and went as well, but not before sending one last pained look over to Romilly, who still didn't know what exactly to make of all this – and how to react. Ignoring him like she'd been the past seven years wouldn't work, and even if it did, she would feel like a complete asshole, dismissing him like he was another irrelevant variable in some unsolvable formula.  
Lost in her thoughts, she sat and stared at the wall, completely forgetting Brand was still there.  
“So, what exactly is going on between you two?”, the scientist suddenly asked.  
Startled, Romilly looked up. “Uh, what?”  
“Between you and Doyle. Like, what was that a few minutes ago? He's usually not … this, you know.”  
Romilly shook her head. “Honestly, I have no idea. I don't even know what to think myself. This … all of this … it's so confusing.”  
“Oh, it always is. Love, I mean”, Brand smiled knowingly.  
 _What is she talking about?_ Romilly was irritated. “I don't love him, Brand. I don't. He doesn't love me, either.”  
“Then why does he look at you like that?” Brand was still grinning. “Come on, Rom. Have you ever seen how his eyes light up when he talks about you? It's like you're some scientific phenomenon. Not that I'm calling you a giant black hole, though”, she laughed. “Seriously though, I think he reveres you.”  
 _He does? Oh my god._ “... he does? I mean ... I've been an asshole towards him the entire time. Why would he even like me?”  
“Believe me, that doesn't change a thing. I remember, me and Edmunds would ...” Brand's gaze drifted off, an expression of lostness taking over her face until she remembered where she was and who she was talking to. “Never mind. But do you remember your first day at NASA, when we sent him out to collect you from your dusty little college so you would work for us? He came back looking like he'd found the garden of Eden, not a lonely physicist who taught quantum mechanics to teenagers.”  
“I'm not lonely”, Romilly snapped.   
Brand reached over and took her hand. “Of course you are. We all know that. You've never been with anyone during all these years, you never even talk about your family. Even TARS asked me if you were some kind of hermit – sorry, his words, not mine.”  
Romilly, instinctively pulling her hand away, mumbled to herself so that the other woman couldn't hear, “You don't fucking know anything.” _They all don't fucking know anything. If they had any idea of who I am, they'd never have taken me to this place._  
Apparently Brand's hearing was better than expected, because she – _jesus christ stop that already_ – apologized again. “I'm sorry, Rom. Really. You're right, I don't know you and probably no one on this ship does because you just won't let anyone get close to you. But I don't blame you for that. Whatever … whatever you've been through, it's your business.” She paused, looking Romilly in the eyes. Then she spoke up again, quietly, sincerely.   
“I know one thing for sure though. And that's that Doyle definitely deserves your honesty. He might overestimate himself sometimes, but he's a good person and his life hasn't exactly been easy, either. I also know he likes you, really likes you, enough to join this mission just because you did. So … maybe just, I don't know, try to not think like a scientist for once but like an actual human being.”  
With those words and one last, tired smile, she got up and left. Romilly was frozen in place, her thoughts racing.  
 _Enough to join the mission just because you did_. Did she hear this right? Was she going crazy? It was about time her brain stopped functioning anyway, the way this entire journey had turned out.   
_He couldn't possibly have. Why would he do that. Why would he ever fucking do that._  
She couldn't know. She couldn't know unless she asked, asked him if everything Brand had said was true. It had to be, because why would she lie to her?

Determined to find out – what Doyle felt, what she felt, _especially_ what she felt – she finally made her way out of the room. On her way through all the different modules of the Endurance, she stopped at a small quadratic screen that showed a visual of the strange galaxy spreading in front of them. Space was different here, different from the sky back on Earth that she knew so very well. The nebulae were denser, stars closer together, black holes and neutron stars and tiny planets crowded up in such little space, she wondered how they didn't all burn and smash and tear each other to parts.  
 _We're so far away from home_ , she thought, _so far away and we're still alive. If that doesn't mean something, then I'll throw myself out the damn airlock today._  
And so, her heart heavy and head dizzy with anticipation, she went to go find Doyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this fic wouldn't even pass the Bechdel test.  
> Also, Doyle is a huge nerd and I love it.


	6. Chapter 6

She found him on the bed where they had been sitting when she comforted him before their long sleep, his face buried in his hands. Carefully, she shut the door behind her and whispered, “Doyle.”  
He looked up, his eyes reddened, voice broken. “Romilly – Romilly, I'm sorry, I –”  
“No.” She shook her head. _Don't apologize. I need you._ “Don't apologize.”  
She noticed his hands were shaking a little, that he tried to hide it. _Doyle, oh, Doyle. You're not making this easier for me_ , she thought, coercing her body to take a small step in his direction.  
Noticing her discomfort, he got up. “But I should be apologizing. You know, I've never ... just never felt like –”  
“Shut up, Doyle.” Romilly clenched her eyes shut as soon as the words escaped her mouth. _Why did I say this. Why did I say this why can I never be nice._ With her heart frantically pounding in her chest, she didn't dare look at the man opposite her. _Shit shit shit Romilly what are you doing._  
But when Doyle didn't say anything, she slowly opened her eyes again. He was still standing where he had been before, still looking at her, still _god so beautiful why did I ever question this_. She wanted to say everything, anything, and she couldn't – even a single sound seemed impossible. She stood there and she almost shook with anxiety and she couldn't talk or even look at Doyle and she hated herself for it, hated herself so much for this, for everything –  
Doyle's hand gently touched her arm. “Romilly. It's okay.”  
She didn't slap his hand away, she didn't hiss an insult at him. She just breathed. Looked up.  
Doyle was standing in front of her, gazing down, taller than she remembered, his hand still so light on her right arm as if he feared she'd break apart under his touch. Bright eyes under dark brows were watching her, as blue as if he had an entire sky inside of him, filled with so much emotion she couldn't understand how he kept his pieces together. She breathed in. She breathed out.  
The instant his hand gently touched her cheek, everything was gone. She didn't worry because she didn't have to. She knew she didn't have to because he was there.  
Romilly reached up and took Doyle's hand, placed it on her own chest, right where her heart was loudly beating beneath her ribcage.  
“I know how I can stand this”, she whispered. “I know now. I could bear anything because you exist.”  
And she heard him breathe in and then his lips were upon hers and she could have sworn that this moment lasted an eternity, that entire universes exploded and grew gargantuan and collapsed again while their mouths met in a tiny crowded room of a solitary space station, slowly drifting through a strange galaxy that was not their own, but maybe would be one day.

Romilly vibrated with new-found energy, raking her fingers through Doyle's soft, thick hair, black as the night sky and dark matter and empty, starless void. Within seconds, she was lifted up against the wall, chests heaving in unison, and when when he suddenly ran his tongue over her lower lip, she almost screamed out. _Doyle Doyle Doyle Doyle_ was all her head could think anymore, gone were her fear and her worries and probably every scientific formula she'd ever known, but she didn't care. She didn't care for anything at all except the man pressing her against a fragile tinfoil wall and how much she wanted him right now, now, _now_.   
And so without hesitation, Romilly moved her hands under his white shirt, drawing her fingernails up and down his chest, sending jolts of pleasure along his skin that resulted in tiny growling hums in her ear, against her cheek, in the nape of her neck. She wanted him, and she needed him, she needed him immediately and she planned to let him know, so she huskily whispered in his ear, “Please, Doyle, I want you.”  
But Doyle didn't have any of that. He just wordlessly picked her up and moved her further up that _fucking_ wall and she wrapped her legs around him tightly and gasped when she felt the stiffening heat between his own. “Oh my god”, she mouthed at him and he grinned his full-toothed, wolfish smile, making him look like a predator, ready to devour every last piece of her. _I hate your face, Doyle_ , she thought, even though the way he looked at her made her so, so wet for him. Feeling revengeful, Romilly eagerly began grinding against him as much as she could in her position, clasping onto his shoulders for support, and watched the smile fall from Doyle's face and turn into an open-mouthed groan.   
“You like that, don't you”, she exclaimed, smug for once because she knew she could play him any way she wanted. But this time she wasn't going to put on an act, not with him. All she needed was to, just once, give herself to someone completely, and that someone was Doyle.   
So Romilly kissed him again, their tongues meeting in a heated encounter that left them both breathless and gasping for air, before she turned his head and whispered in his ear, “I want you. I want you, and I want you to have me like there's no tomorrow, like all of our lives are going to end today, and I want you to fuck me like there is nobody else in this entire goddamn world and like the universe will collapse after us and leave only nothingness behind. I want you to fuck me like you truly mean it.”  
So Doyle obliged. Oh, and how he did.

Moaning into her neck, he picked Romilly up again and she clung to his arms, feeling the strong muscle beneath his shirt. _How the fuck did I never notice how damn hot he is?_ , she wondered, but was ripped out of her thoughts again when he laid her down on the small bunk bed and crawled on top of her, accidentally hitting his head on the hard metal. Romilly laughed.  
“You're such an idiot”, she exclaimed, draping her arms around the back of his neck and pulling him down to meet his lips before he could come up with something clever. He went “mmm” against her mouth, but that sound turned into a heavy groan as she reached down with one hand and palmed the bulge beneath his pants. “Jesus, Romilly”, he rasped out before kissing her neck, making her breath hitch in her throat. _I can't believe I'm doing this_.   
Despite her disbelief at how eager she was to fuck this man into Oblivion, Romilly bent her body up towards his as far as she could, desperate for more contact, more skin. Clawing at the edges of his shirt, she tried rucking it up just far enough to finally touch him while he fumbled with hers the same way, but both of them found themselves almost unable to move in the tight space of the bunk bed. After a minute of continued effort, Romilly started giggling and Doyle joined in, as if they still were teenagers and this was their first attempt at sex.  
“So, what's the plan now, Professor?”, he asked, winking at her suggestively. Romilly wanted to slap him and she wanted to call him an idiot again but mostly, she just wanted to fuck him, so she hesitated for a second. Then she got up, exclaiming “I have an idea.”  
Motioning for Doyle to _move your pretty ass_ , she started working the bed's thin mattress out of its casing, then went on to the one above that. As soon as he saw what she meant to do, Doyle helped her and together they arranged what they had salvaged from the spare furniture on the floor of the chamber.

Laughing and proud of her spontaneity, Romilly spread out on their makeshift bed and in a rush of confidence, she gripped her shirt and started slowly pulling it upwards while Doyle was still standing above her, watching, never taking his eyes off her. As she was left only with her bra and panties, she looked up at him and his piercing gaze nearly made her head spin. _Jesus, this man,_ she thought, and the next second he was shirtless and on top of her, moving against her like an animal while she clawed at his bare back, freckled skin soft and warm and oh so human beneath her fingertips.   
Then suddenly he was dipping his tongue into the dent above her collarbone, sucking a mark into the skin and _shit what if the others- oh fuck it I don't even care_ and Romilly moaned, shifting beneath him until he had his leg between hers and the friction as she rubbed against him almost made her go crazy. Doyle's hands reached around her back, lifting her up for a second, and then her bra was tossed aside, his hands now cupping her breasts and gently tracing her hardening nipples.   
“Shit, Doyle”, she blurted out, the pure sensation of his fingers on her skin almost too much to bear after years of not being touched at all.   
“I'll take that as a compliment”, he said, grinning at Romilly, and moved down to caress her neck with his lips again.  
Romilly saw stars as he started trailing sloppy, wet kisses down her chest, stopping at her breasts to trail a path around her nipples with his tongue before wandering down her belly and _ohmygod_ the inside of her thighs, moving closer and closer to her core but never really touching. The slight scratch of his beard on her sensitive skin almost made her come undone immediately and when he gazed up at her, she could have sworn that her entire being unraveled beneath his very eyes. Then, in one swift move, he pulled her panties aside and delved his tongue into her entrance.  
Tremors ran through Romilly's entire body as he continued flicking her clit with his tongue, occasionally stopping just to look up at her and grin because _this motherfucker is so sure of himself I'm gonna – oh, oh my god_ and she gripped his hair as he pushed one finger into her, then two, slowly moving back and forth and then curling them up inside of her, hitting her sweet spot again and again.   
Paralyzed by shockwaves of pleasure, Romilly was climbing higher and higher towards her release until Doyle sucked her clit into his mouth once more, his fingers pressing at just the right angle and Romilly's mind went _Jesus Christ oh my god oh my GOD_ until she couldn't hold back anymore and shouted a breathless “OH. MY GOD.” at him – and clenching around Doyle's fingers, riding out her orgasm, she realized that now it was definitely too late to hide what they were doing from anyone on this station. _And I couldn't give less of a shit_ , she thought, cupping his chin to pull him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses. (This is all Wes Bentley's fault.)


	7. Chapter 7

Face to face again, she eagerly met Doyle with her mouth, biting his lower lip and drawing another groan from him. Swirling her tongue around his, she tasted herself, thinking _oh, I've missed this_ as she locked her legs around his back, grinding upwards against him. She made sure her grip on him was steady and then, to his surprise, quickly rolled them both around so he was on his back and Romilly on top.  
“I'm impressed”, he said jokingly, looking at her with raised eyebrows and a humorous twinkle in his eyes.  
“You should be”, she answered, still out of breath from her climax, and reached down to shove her hand between his legs. His eyelids flickering closed, Doyle stuttered something between “shit” and “fuck” and Romilly leaned down to whisper in his ear, “See? That's what I'm talking about.”  
All the confidence that she'd lost during the last decade slowly returning to her, she ghosted her fingertips down his belly, stopping at the trail of hair disappearing beneath his pants. She smiled at him as he opened his eyes and looked at her impatiently.   
“Patience”, she purred, and then continued to move her fingers downwards, slowly tracing the shape of his erection through the thick cotton fabric. Only as Doyle jerked his hips up involuntarily, breathing heavily in need of more touch, more pressure, she obliged to his desire and opened his pants with nimble fingers, pulling them and his boxers down in one move.

After they were both finally freed of every last piece of clothing between them, Romilly laid on her side next to Doyle, slowly stroking him with one hand. Reaching up to touch his cheek with her other, she looked into his eyes. “I'm ready when you are, Doyle.”  
Smiling, he pressed his lips to hers. “Of course I am. Let me just get something.”  
As he tried to reach for one of the storage bags on the wall next to them where they kept medical supplies and, apparently, also condoms – _why do they have condoms on a space mission? Oh right, guess we are answering that question right now_ – she grabbed his arm and shook her head. “I'm on the pill.”  
Doyle sent her a questioning look and mentioned STDs, but she just groaned impatiently. “Doyle, our bloodwork has been tested at least ten times before this mission. Also, we're probably going to be dead in a few weeks anyway, so who cares?”  
He snorted, amused by her cynicism, and turned back to her. “Alright, darling. Whatever you say.”  
Romilly's face flushed at the endearment. _Oh my god. Now he's being cute too_.  
Moving on top of her again, Doyle's erection pressed hot and hard against her belly when he kissed her and she felt waves of burning desire flowing through her. Reaching down, he looked into her eyes. “Ready?”  
Romilly nodded. _I've never been this damn ready before_.  
She watched his mouth fall open as he pushed into her, carefully and excruciatingly slowly. Her body only gradually adjusting to his size, she gasped. “Oh fuck.”  
“Oh my god, Romilly, you are incredible”, he moaned into her shoulder when he was finally buried deep inside her, their bodies as close to each other as they could possibly be. This was definitely better than everything she could have ever imagined, Romilly thought, hanging on to his arms and shoulders as tightly as she could, and when Doyle slowly started moving inside of her, she almost cried out because of the incredible pleasure overwhelming her.  
Picking up pace, he began genuinely fucking her, muscles working and sweat forming on his skin and Romilly was swept away, lost in the rhythm of their bodies meeting as if they were attempting to become one, like asteroids crashing together and shattering into a billion pieces before reassembling again.   
She folded her legs around his back and pulled him closer closer _closer_ , writhing and shifting her body upwards to meet him as he pushed as deep inside her as he could. This was it, this was all she'd ever wanted – the electrified thunder of his voice on her skin, his hands roaming over her body sending tiny implosions through her cells and their faces hovering only millimeters apart, breathing each other's air until their heads were getting dizzy and she thought _holy shit I need you so much._  
His name was like a prayer on her lips, repeated countless times as her vision started blurring and the only thing left in her head were the sounds of him groaning and growling into her neck and _oh my god Doyle right there_ as he reached down, massaging her clit with wet fingers.  
Romilly cried out as she saw supernovae exploding before her vision, cascades of hot, white heat surging through her veins and then Doyle's hips were stuttering, his perfect rhythm faltering, blue eyes widening and hands gripping her hips like she was the last thing he'd ever let go and moments later she felt him pulsing inside of her, heard him shout her name into the void around them as if the stars would listen.


	8. Chapter 8

In the aftermath of their human collision, Romilly lay sprawled out on the floor next to a sleeping Doyle, tracing the countless freckles on his back with her fingers. _If I were a poet, I'd write about those constellations now_ , she thought, then was suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss every single one of them. _This is going to take me years_ , she smiled to herself as she gently touched her lips to his shoulder. _But then again, I guess we'll have a lot of time on our hands soon._  
With a small moan, Doyle woke up, skin shivering under her fingertips. “Good morning”, he said sleepily, slowly turning and blinking at her with hazy eyes.   
Romilly laughed and gestured at the thin aluminum wall behind her that separated them from the cold vacuum of space. “Not much of a morning here.”  
“Don't be such a pessimist.” He grunted, propping himself up on his elbows to kiss her. “Just imagine – soon enough, we'll have our own planet all to ourselves. Just us few, two robots, and a lot of frozen eggs. And although that's already too wonderful to imagine, I'll be even happier to wake up next to you every day.”  
Smiling, she reached out and caressed his bearded cheek. “You're talking too much again”, she exclaimed and pressed her lips to his. _I want this moment to never end._  
Doyle grinned, pulling her in for a more passionate kiss, tongues meeting and teeth clicking together and when they parted, he whispered “you're beautiful” in her ear, and she felt her heart beat faster in her chest. 

Lying back down, Romilly imagined Brand's reaction when she found out that they'd been getting it on right here on the damn Endurance. If she didn't already know, that was. “Brand is going to be so fucking smug about this.”  
“Why Brand?”, Doyle asked bemusedly.  
“Well ...” She hesitated, then let all of her usual caution dissipate. “She told me that you liked me, and I didn't believe her.”  
Laughing, Doyle turned to face her. “ _Like_ you? Does she even have any idea of who I am?”  
Romilly felt her cheeks heat up at his words. “I don't know. Do I?”  
He looked at her, his face suddenly taking on a sincere expression. “I don't know”, he said quietly. “God, Romilly, what are we even doing here?”  
“I've been asking myself that for ages”, she replied, staring at the bare metal ceiling above her. “This is no place for us to be.”  
“That's not what I meant.” Doyle sounded distant, like he wasn't entirely there, remembering something she couldn't know, would never know about.  
“What do you mean, then?”  
“Just … us. This – all of this – it's so crazy. I've wanted you for such a long time, and now that we're finally here, I have to leave in only a few hours.”  
Romilly sat up, eyes widening in horror. “You're not serious.”  
“What?”  
“You're not serious. About leaving me here.”  
He looked at her, sighing. “I have to go down to Miller's. That's our mission, to find ourselves a new home, and I have to keep the promise I made when I signed on for this, so–”  
“Is it true though?”, she interrupted him, heart beating frantically because she needed to know. “That you joined because of me?”  
Doyle smiled to himself, thoughts wandering to fond memories again. “You know, I'm just as scared of space as you are – I'm just better at hiding it. And you're right when you say we don't belong here, but like Professor Brand always said, we don't belong on Earth either.” Putting one arm around her, he continued. “I never felt at home in all that dust, I had to do something, go somewhere. NASA, they gave me a direction, but I wasn't sure – and then you came along, like a giant beaming sign that said 'THIS WAY, DOYLE', and suddenly, everything made sense. So yeah, in a way, I did join this mission because of you.”  
Romilly was close to tears, her mind already imagining the countless things that could happen to him on that planet. “Then why don't you stay with me?”, she asked, voice shaking. _If this is true, why don't you stay with me?_  
Looking at her sincerely, he took her hand, lacing her fingers with his. “You know there is nothing I want more, but I can't. This is too important to just not play my part. And I'm a geographer – if I stay up here, I won't help anyone. I would have come all this way for nothing.”  
“You would help _me_ ”, Romilly whispered, desperately trying hold her tears back. She was so hurt by his words, by him talking like she didn't even matter the tiniest bit to him, even though she knew that wasn't true.  
“Romilly ...” Doyle looked at her, an incredible sadness in his beautiful blue eyes.  
Her voice was broken when she spoke again. “And you didn't come here for nothing. I'm not nothing. You're not nothing. You're everything. Doyle, you're _everything_.”  
And then she collapsed like a dying star, reality crashing down on her as she realized that she loved him, loved him with every fiber of her being and _this is too much it's all to much I love you so much_ and he reached for her, took her in his arms and held her until she was clinging to his shirt, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder while years of suppressed emotion were storming out of her all at once and breaking her down to her very core.

Doyle kept her tightly in his arms for what seemed like forever, until she had no more tears left and her throat was dry and her head hurt from all the crying, from finally letting go of the feelings she had been hiding for so long. She buried her face in his neck, breathing him in, already scared of forgetting his smell, his touch, the way his skin felt on hers.   
When Romilly dared to look at him again, it was like staring into a mirror. Doyle's face was so full of pain, drained from all of his usual carelessness and he seemed so, so tired, as if he had crossed the entire universe on foot. Gently, oh so carefully taking her face in his hands, he moved closer to her, stopping when there was only the thinnest layer of air keeping them apart.  
Romilly's breath caught in her throat as his lips touched hers so very lightly, as if he hadn't crashed through her like a meteor, leaving a blazing trail of hope and desire and _love, oh I never thought_ and then only ruins for lightyears and lightyears.  
Unable to do anything else, she kissed him back, blinking away the tears that threatened to overcome her again because she knew she wouldn't feel his lips on hers or his breath in the nape of her neck or even hear his voice for almost a decade.   
But then he spoke, his voice so soft and perfect that she almost wondered if he was an angel, “do you know what Carl Sagan once said?”  
She shook her head. _I don't know anything anymore, except that you need to stay, you have to stay._  
“He was a scientist, a pioneer like us, just a very long time ago. In one of his books, he wrote this: 'For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.' And that's how we stand this, Romilly. That's how we endure.”  
Doyle looked at her, the emotion in his eyes taking her breath away. “I love you.”  
She stared at him, thinking _I love you too I love you so much_ , unable to say the words because if she ever admitted this to herself, she wouldn't be able to let him go, not in a million years. And then she started laughing. 

Romilly laughed because of how unbelievable this entire situation was, laughed at the absurdity of the fact that she was sitting on the floor of a space station, on the most dangerous trip of their lives, half-naked with a man she always thought she couldn't stand but here they were and he was confessing his love to her. And also staring at her like she had lost her mind. _Which isn't so unlikely_ , she thought, making her giggle again.  
She laced her fingers through Doyle's hair and kissed him one more time, deeply and desperately, like this was the last chance she'd get. When they pulled apart, Romilly smiled at him, gently brushing a strand of loose hair from his face. “Well”, she said, “at least I know you'll be worth the wait.”  
He grinned back at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Oh, I–”  
The knock on the door harshly ripped them out of their togetherness.  
“Doyle? Romilly? It's Cooper. Whatever you two are doing in there, you better wrap it up. We're leaving in an hour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kind of weird finding a real motive for Doyle to go to Miller's and leave Romilly behind after everything that happened in this fic, but I couldn't and didn't want to change the storyline of the movie and let him stay because that's just not what I had in mind at all. So his reasons might seem kind of irrelevant compared to how much he loves Romilly.
> 
> (alsO FRECKLES!! ! AND I'M NOT EVEN MAKING THOSE UP)


	9. Chapter 9

With her face still red from both tears and laughter, Romilly watched the rest of the crew gearing up. Deciding that she would not let Doyle leave just yet, she walked towards Cooper. No matter how little she'd liked him before, now she had to trust him with one thing. “Cooper–”  
He turned to her. “Yeah, Rom?”  
“Please bring him back safe.” She glanced over his shoulder at Doyle, who was climbing into his suit, legs and chest and arms disappearing beneath the white synthetic fabric. “Promise me you'll bring him back, Cooper, please.”  
The engineer looked at her, seeming absent. “You know, I've promised many things in the past. I promised my daughter that I would come back – and I don't know if I can do that anymore, not in time. But I'll do my best, Rom. We all will. We won't let you wait any longer than absolutely necessary.”  
She nodded, trying to somehow seem determined, as if she didn't feel like falling apart again any second. “Thank you.”  
He gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder and went to put on his own spacesuit.

Romilly stood behind Doyle, unfastening straps and buckles and fastening them again, checking if every piece was correctly in place five times more than necessary. When she was finally sure that at least his own suit couldn't kill him, he turned around, holding her with gloved hands.  
“When are you going to be back?”, she asked, staring up at his face. _God, what will I do if something happens to you?_  
“Cooper says that we won't take longer than an hour.”  
“Seven years”, she whispered.  
His gaze dropped to the floor. “I know. I'm sorry, Romilly.”  
“Don't be. I know what this means to you, what it means for our future.” _But I don't understand how it means more than me._  
They leaned their foreheads together, trying to take in as much as possible from the other, their scents and their voices and the color of their eyes and she already missed him now, before he was even gone. “I'll wait for you, Doyle”, she said, blinking back tears. “I'll wait for you, all the time, until you get back. I'll wake up thinking of you and I'll go to sleep thinking of you, and I'll count every week and every day and every hour that you're not with me.”  
Doyle kissed her, hugged her, held her, then let go again, slowly, reluctantly.  
“I have to go”, he said, but he didn't look like he wanted to. No, he looked the exact opposite – as if leaving Romilly was the hardest thing he ever had to do. But even with sadness written all over his face, he let her go and picked his helmet up from the floor and took one step, then another, and with every single one Romilly felt a little less human and a little less real. _I can't let you go I can't I can't_ , she whispered inside her head so often until she wasn't whispering anymore but yelling at herself and her heart felt like it would explode if she didn't stop him and then she was shouting, “Doyle –”

For one moment, time stood still, dying stars stopped collapsing and the universe stopped expanding and the world stopped existing around them as she spoke, voice trembling just as much as her hands were. “I love you.”  
“I know”, he said quietly, looking as lost as she never could have imagined him, her wonderful, brilliant scientist, always so sure of everything. “I love you too.”  
And then Romilly was rushing towards him and his helmet fell to the floor and she was being held in his arms, gripping on to the fabric of his suit as if letting go meant death and their lips met one last time, like they were the only two human beings left in the entire universe.

Then she heard Cooper calling, “Doyle? You coming?”, and in that moment she hated him so much, hated him with every fiber of her being as if it was his fault and his fault only that Doyle was leaving.  
He pulled away from her, eyes welling up as he looked at her one last time before he quickly turned around and walked towards the Airlock.  
Romilly's body was shaking and her mind was screaming _stop walking stop walking stop walking_ but she couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything, couldn't feel anything except horrible, excruciating pain as she stood frozen to the ground and watched the only person she ever loved walk away.  
The second the door closed behind him, she could have yelled, she could have cried, she could have hit her fists against the cold metal surrounding her, but she knew that nothing she did would change the inevitable fact that he was gone. And so she collected her thoughts as best as she could, calmed her mind, _think logically, Romilly, like you always do_ , and started counting.  
 _One._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahah i hate everything


	10. Chapter 10

Romilly waited.

Every day, she added one to the number in her mind. She counted, relentlessly, unforgiving, never allowing herself to forget.  
It was hard in the beginning, keeping a regular rhythm, getting up every 24 hours and sending probes down into Gargantua that would never return. But she got used to it, the numbers gave her a sense of security, and sometimes she wished she couldn't just count the weeks and days and hours but every millisecond Doyle was gone.

She slept a few times, first only months, then a year, then another, but every time TARS woke her up his first words were “sorry, Romilly”, and one day, as she sat up in her cryobed, she couldn't remember the exact sound of Doyle's voice anymore. That was the first day she ever cried about him, hating herself for her frail human memory, _how could you forget about him you stupid STUPID failure of a woman._  
Romilly couldn't take the disappointment of waking up from sleep without him anymore, so she stayed awake, waiting, reading through the gravitational data they had observed from the black hole over and over again as if she hadn't seen the exact same numbers a hundred times before. She barely ate and almost never slept, and whenever TARS tried to talk to her, she would get angry and shout at him like he actually cared.

The day came that Doyle had been gone for exactly seven years. Restless and unable to sit still for even a second, she wandered through the Endurance. As she passed by the module where they had first been together, she stopped, hesitating. She hadn't been in there since he left.  
Romilly opened the door, slowly stepping into the tiny room. The blankets and pillows they had slept on were still everywhere on the floor, and she sat down between them, on the verge of tears but forcing herself to _keep it together, god damn it._  
Her sleep deprivation made itself noticeable soon enough. She stuffed a pillow under her head, so, so tired from waiting all the time, and within seconds, she was asleep. Of course, she dreamed of Doyle, of their first time, of his beautiful face, the sparkle in his eyes when his fingers touched her.  
Then a familiar voice and something cold poking her arm woke her up. “Wake up, Romilly.”  
She blinked, her pillow wet and sticky at her cheek from crying in her sleep, and for one second she could have sworn it was Doyle standing in front of her. But as her vision cleared there was only TARS, one of his arms extended towards her. “Wake up.”  
“Stop being so annoying”, she growled into her blanket, never wanting to move again.  
“No, you need to get up. I have a message from Doyle.”  
In an instant, she was wide awake. “What?!”  
The robot shifted slightly forward – his equivalent of a nod. “He recorded it before he left. Do you want to see it?”

Romilly sat in the comm room, wrapped in a blanket. The screen in front of her flickered to life, and then there was Doyle, smiling at her like he had been the first day she met him. “Hey, Romilly.”  
She pressed her hand to her mouth when she saw his face. _Oh my god, Doyle._  
“If you see this message, then that means we've been gone for an hour. Or seven years ...”  
A familiar warmth flooded through her as he kept talking because if she closed her eyes, it almost felt like he was right next to her. With every word he said she felt more at home, more like a human being again. But when she opened her eyes, there was only darkness and his face blurry on the surface in front of her.  
He was shaking his head now, looking at the floor. “I wish I could have promised you that I would come back, I –”  
There was a single tear rolling down his cheek and she couldn't look at him, couldn't stand seeing him like this and her heart was hurting in her chest, every beat of it heavy and painful. She bit her tongue, clenched her fists around the edges of the blanket they had once shared, everything to keep her from crying but when he looked into the camera and said “I wish I could stay, Romilly”, she couldn't hold back anymore. When the video ended and there was just white noise left, she was still sobbing quietly.

After that day, she stopped counting. She went to sleep again, only occasionally waking up to read through the new data they captured, but nothing ever changed. It was almost the same over and over again, but she didn't give up hope, she couldn't. Romilly had made a promise, same as Doyle and all the others, to do her best to save what remained of humanity. And she planned on keeping it.  
She watched Doyle's video every time before she went to sleep, because it was the only thing that could make her feel less alone.

 

Now she sits next to TARS and her heart is hammering in her chest because this time, she knows they are coming back, she's seen the Ranger approaching on the screens and every breath she takes gets caught in her throat because of how much she needs to see them, needs to see _him_.  
And then she hears it – the noise of the Ranger docking. She runs to the module as fast as she can, legs weak from too much time spent in cryosleep. She halts, clings on to the wall. She stands there. And she waits. And seconds later, the Airlock opens and Cooper steps out, then Brand, both dripping wet and with a look on their faces like they've just returned from hell.  
Romilly is frozen. _Doyle Doyle Doyle where is Doyle._  
As Brand says “Hello, Rom”, everything she can get out is “I've waited years”, her voice frail and barely there because it almost hasn't been used for decades. _So many years twenty three years where is Doyle_. She looks around frantically, still searching for the smallest hint of him.  
“How many years?”, Cooper asks, turning to her. She can barely think. _Twenty three years four months eight days without Doyle, please, Doyle._  
“Twenty-three years”, TARS answers for her. She nods, shakes, her mind slowly beginning to realize. _No please no Doyle PLEASE_. “Four months, eight days.”  
As Cooper turns away again, seeming utterly mortified, processing what he just heard, Romilly finally finds the words she has to say. The only word that still matters. _Doyle_.  
She stares at them, standing there looking as guilty as she's never seen anyone look before in her life, especially Brand. Then her mouth finally obliges, finally does what she wants and she brings out his name, slowly, quietly, like it's so heavy on her tongue …  
“Doyle?”  
Brand's eyes flicker down. She shakes her head.  
And Romilly is crashing, crashing, crashing into a black hole infinite times bigger than the one right outside their doorstep, she's falling and she's screaming on the inside and her lungs are refusing to breathe and every single synapse in her brain is firing out pain, every cell in her entire body is howling _no no no no no_ and she fears, no, _wishes_ she would be ripped apart in the most violent way she can imagine and then there's only darkness, only deep cold lightless void as she realizes it was all for nothing. _He's gone_. And she starts sobbing and screaming out his name as Brand takes her hands, hugs her tightly, holds her as her world falls apart.

 

**THE END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, now you know the reason I cry myself to sleep at night.  
> Thanks to everyone who read this, commented, or gave me Kudos!  
> Special thanks to my friends Aylin, Emily and my cousin Lotte for giving me so much support during my entire writing process and for being the best betas I could imagine - this wouldn't be here without you.
> 
> PS I hate happy endings :) (and myself for writing this fanfic)  
> PPS I made this (8tracks.com/binarydust/mountains) for increased pain. You're welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to keep both Romilly and Doyle as true to character as possible (except that Romilly probably doesn't really swear this much), but since we don't get to know much about them in the movie anyway, I guess there's a lot of room for interpretation there.  
> I'm leaving her appearance and her age entirely up to your imagination.  
> Reviews are very much appreciated, especially since this is my first fanfiction.


End file.
